biblebuffjournal99-REMEMBERING MY MOTHER
Now that I was born. June 9, 1933.
I was here.
I can remember being held
in
Mother's arms.
A faint
long ago warmth.
Whispers of love.
Sensing her love for me.
Just cozy.
Cuddled.
A rim of ribbon on a blanket in my fingers,
soft and silky.
Then, taken into another room.
A big room.
Coldness.
Bright lights.
Hard to sleep.
Where ? was Mother?
Then they brought me to her again.
I remember nestling on her breast.
They gave her a bottle, and she fed me.
They had brought me in from a
crib
in a big cold room
to her room,
where now I was cozy and warm
beside her.
I wanted to stay with her.
She talked to me like I understood
right from the start.
Mother knew how to hold babies. She had helped her Mother with four other sisters. Here she is with Esther Priscilla. In the other photo, here is Daddy with Mother. I was probably 7 days old. They are home at Zylonite in Adams MA where Grandmother and Grandfather lived.
N
ON GOING HOME 1933
I remember Mother holding me while Grampa was driving the car.
I remember Mother bringing me into the house at Adams and setting me
in bed.
She talked to me each night. I slept with her on her right side.
Then Daddy came home.
She fixed a dresser drawer for me
It was now my bed.
While I lay in it, I was insecure until I could S E E
H E R F A C E.
She was on the left side of Daddy. I was
on the right with my dresser drawer sitting on
two chairs facing each other. I had to strain
to see Mother.
THEY HAD TALKED ABOUT IT. I HEARD MOTHER'S REASONING, " BUT, HARRY, SHE IS TO SLEEP WITH ME." "NO, VIDA, SHE IS NOT TO SLEEP WITH US. SHE WILL GET USED TO IT. I DO NOT LIKE THAT." HE WAS VERY FIRM.
I FELT THE PULL OF HER HEART TOWARD ME.
I felt the love she had for me. Father was distant. He
simply had not the ability in himself to "receive me" just yet.
I SOMEHOW KNEW that he was someone who NEEDED LOVE
AND THAT HE HAD A HARD TIME KNOWING HOW TO LOVE.
I wanted to love him. It will take time, but I will.
Mommy would love me. I had no doubts.
I FINALLY FELL ASLEEP -
THINKING ABOUT THE SWEET MOMMY I HAD.
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This was my Grandmother about the time I was born in 1933. The house is on Apremont Street -[ later its name was changed ] The house is still there. I went back to see it with my husband Henry in 1987.
MOTHER WAS A LADY PART II
Psalm 90.12 So teach us to number our days
that we may apply our hearts unto wisdom
Psalm 70: 6 By Thee have I been holden
from the womb; thou art he that took me out of my mother's bowels: my praise shall continually be of Thee."
New England was briskly entering into the 30's. The depression was still upon most of the country. In the New England town of Adams, MA Vida May's family was doing well. The girls - five of them now - Mother the oldest - were somewhat unhappy with the demands of "keeping up appearances" and felt there was more to life than that. At least, Mother so thought.
It was during her 15th year that Harry came into the picture.
He showed up in the school. He could sing. He talked. He was indeed, a talker. She did not try to do anything to lead him on, she would simply express her opinion. He liked that. It was because "she was a LADY" AND did not throw herself at the boys that the boys would tease her, and make comments about her being such a ridiculous prude to be so uppity. Exactly what Forrest had seen in his young daughter - he knew what the men were like in the mill, and he wanted better for her. Now here the boys were seeing her in the high school, and they could not figure out how a girl would want to keep herself pure for any reason. They could not figure at all about that.
SHE SAW A LOT OF HIM THAT YEAR. HE INDEED TRIED TO MAKE HER NOTICE HIM. THERE WAS A DOUBLE STANDARD IN THOSE DAYS OF THE EARLY 1900'S.
What was that ? Well, you see, THE BOYS COULD DO NO WRONG. IT WAS OK FOR THEM TO SLEEP AROUND.
IT WAS ALRIGHT FOR THEM - IT WAS THE "MAN" THING TO DO. BUT FOR THE GIRLS ? THAT WAS A DIFFICULT THING - They were expected to be nice to the boys. They were expected to NOT be uppity. They were expected to BE THE NICE AND PRETTY HOSTESS. They were EXPECTED to be good to the fellows.
BUT MOTHER DID NOT WANT THAT. SHE DID NOT WANT TO GIVE IN TO A BOY , AND SHE KNEW HER MOTHER AND FATHER LOVED EACH OTHER , AND SHE WANTED THE SAME THING FOR HERSELF. SO SHE STOOD HER GROUND.
IN NO UNCERTAIN TERMS, SHE WAS NOT GOING TO SLEEP WITH ANYONE, NOR GIVE IN TO THEM, SHE WAS NOT GOING TO RUN AROUND LIKE THAT. SHE WAS A LADY.
Her 16th Birthday came and went. In the late summer of 1932, Forrest and Lillias sent her to the Girl Scout Camp. It was a big event. And the boys decided to take action. THE BOYS invaded the camp and they would come to the tents where the girls were, and try to persuade the girls to go in the fields with them, or into the woods with them. Mother refused. She refused more than once. Harry was among them. She refused him too.
Harry had begun to be enamored with her, insistent, he finally caught her one afternoon by surprise, when she was not aware of him being there. He took her, and laid with her against her express will.
What ? was she to do ? Will anyone believe me?
She could not tell anyone.
WHAT A HORRIBLE WEEK THAT WAS FOR MY MOTHER. SHE SAID THAT AT THE CAMP, THEY HAD A SWIMMING LESSON IN WHICH THE GIRLS HAD TO GO IN THE WATER FULLY DRESSED IN THEIR BLOOMER CLOTHES - THEY WERE TO SWIM WITH THOSE CLOTHES ON - SHE WAS SO S C A R E D THAT SHE NEVER EVER WENT SWIMMING AFTER THAT. AND ALL THE TIME THAT SHE FINISHED THAT WEEK AT CAMP - SHE DID NOT TELL ANYONE WAS THAT HARRY HAD ACCOSTED HER, AND NOW SHE WAS DETERMINED "IF I HAVE A BABY, I AM GOING TO KEEP IT."
They talk a lot about Mothers and Babies and what do little babies know ? in the womb?
I believe FULLY that I knew when Mother was coping with that horrible week at camp - I believe I FULLY UNDERSTOOD her determination to KEEP THIS BABY.
I FELT HER LOVE FOR ME.
She went home from the Girl Scout Camp.
Time went on. And then she had to tell her mother who then told her Father. Both Harry and her Father wanted her to have an abortion. She was TOO YOUNG to have a baby. IT WOULD BE A DISGRACE.
"YOU CAN'T HAVE THIS BABY. I AM A PERSON OF WORTH, AND THIS BABY IS A PERSON, AND I WANT IT TO BE BORN, MOTHER DECLARED"
Mother never told me what Lillias said, she only told me what Harry and Grandfather said. As a baby in the womb I was coming. I WAS ON THE WAY. 1933 AND I WAS BEING BORN IN THE SAME YEAR HITLER CAME TO POWER IN GERMANY. MY MOTHER KNEW THAT SHE WANTED THIS BABY TO LIVE. AND MIRACLE OF MIRACLES I DID. I KEPT COMING. I WAS ON THE WAY. I REMEMBER MOTHER'S VOICE - IT HAD A COMFORTING WELCOMING AIR TO IT, AND I KNEW SHE LOVED ME. I WAS GOING TO COME. I WOULD BE BORN.
ONE NIGHT I REMEMBER MOTHER WAS AT HER MOTHER'S HOUSE, LISTENING TO THE RADIO ...HITLER'S VOICE CAME SPOUTING OUT ...AND I COULD HEAR THE VOICE AND I FELT THE HORROR AND FEAR OF MY MOTHER AT HIS WORDS. AND MY OWN RESPONSE TO HIS VOICE. IT WAS FEARSOME.
I am not sure of when Grandfather and the family left Shelburne Falls, MA but here is the Bridge of Flowers as it looked back in those days by the Mill.
WALKING OVER THE BRIDGE WITH HARRY, MY FATHER, MOTHER WAS SPEAKING TO HIM. YOU ARE NOT SERIOUS, THAT YOU ARE NOT GOING TO BE HERE FOR BABY'S BIRTH? HARRY SAID "AUNT SALLY WANTS ME TO GRADUATE FROM HIGH SCHOOL, SO I HAVE TO BE GONE FOR THAT." A SILENCE .... THEN ... "WHEN WILL WE GET MARRIED? RIGHT AFTER I GRADUATE, VIDA.
SO MOTHER SETTLED AND WAITED.
here is my Mother on the right
Esther on the left,
and me in the middle.
I must have been 7 months old,
for I am sitting pretty good,
It would have been Spring of 1934.
MOTHER WAS A LADY.
SHE LOVED ME.
SHE TAUGHT ME
WHAT UNCONDITIONAL LOVE WAS ALL ABOUT.
watch for part III of MOTHER WAS A LADY
HERE IS THE ZYLONITE HOUSE - MOTHER IS ON THE PORCH WITH A COUPLE OF OTHERS. I WOULD STAY WITH GRANDMOTHER A LOT IN THIS HOUSE THE FIRST THREE YEARS OF MY LIFE. GRANDFATHER BUILT IT HIMSELF, AND IT EXHUDED INTO MY LIFE MUCH OF THE STRENGTH AND CHARACTER FORREST AND LILLIAS INSTILLED IN THEIR DAUGHTER, MY MOTHER. I TREASURE MY MOTHER.
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